This Sunday, July 28 I’ll be on the IAMSALTLAKEPODCAST with Chris Hollifield. Watch this blog for links to the podcast – looking forward to talking about Salt Lake City, Sex, Religion, and Writing SL,UT.
Chapter Eighteen: Salt Lake, 2012 – Kyra
“Why do you stay with him?”
“I don’t know how to be alone I guess, and he protects me from myself.”
“You trust yourself so little?”
“Trusting him has always served me right. He takes care of me. He makes me feel safe.”
“You can take care of yourself, you know.”
“Yeah, but it’s nice sometimes to let someone else do it for me.”
“Does that make you happy?”
“Does sitting by the phone hoping he’ll call make me happy? No, but sometimes when we’re together everything is perfect – but waiting for him to call, always knowing I’m his last priority, doesn’t exactly feed the ego.”
“Have you ever had to play second fiddle before?”
I thought for a minute, about the way all those silly high school boys had followed me around, and then those casual hook ups in college when I’d never let anyone get too close. “No, but I don’t exactly have the best track record of healthy relationships. But I’m not just his second priority, I come after everything – his wife, his kids, his work … I don’t think I’m even my own top priority,” I realized. Before Francois I’d at least always been my own priority, but in our years together I’d lost even that.
“I’d love a chance to make you a priority,” Tal said suddenly, surprising me with his confession.
I paused and tilted my head toward him, “Don’t say things like that.”
“I want you to know how I feel. I’m crazy about you. He doesn’t deserve you. You’re too good for him. I don’t feel bad trying to steal you from him. You’re going to leave him one day, and then you’re going to be with me,” Tal explained, then stepped toward me and placed his hands on each side of my head. He pulled my face to his with confidence and command.
I knew what was coming, and I had a dozen chances to tell him to stop, or turn my head, but I didn’t. When his mouth met mine my heart skipped into my throat. His lips were soft and full, and he held my face as his lips brushed over mine, sucking and nibbling. His tongue slid in and out of my mouth, slowly and explored me gently. I kissed him back, enjoying the feel of his mouth on mine and his hands holding my face to his. I slid my hands up his chest and wrapped my fingers into his soft hair. His mouth left mine and worked its way over my jaw and down my throat as his hands lifted my hair to expose my flesh. I sighed and rolled my head back, my thoughts becoming a clouded jumble of confusion and passion.